Wow. I don't know what to say about today.
It feels like a year instead of a day. When the nurse and I mentioned David's "fall" as having taken place yesterday, he said, "It was only yesterday?"
I'm not even sure how to report on him today.
Last night - the end of day one - we had seen improvement that, although I didn't dare let myself THINK it, my heart was FEELING I would walk in today and find him on his feet ready to go home (yeah, silly, I know). I found him this morning to be no better, but also no worse - still in very good spiritis, looking bright-eyed.
By late afternoon he was sluggish and slower of speech - just seemed really tired. He looked like a totally different person from whom I had seen that morning. He was also complaining of a headache - which scared me. I guess people who've had a stroke can have a headache that is just a normal headache like anybody else, but I couldn't help but be concerned, especially since he looked so worn out and so different from the morning.
I'd been chalking it up since then as exhaustion finally catching up with him.
When I went in early evening he was doing the same but told me the physical therapist had been in and had him up using a walker. I don't know what that means since David is unable to even shift his position in bed when he is uncomfortable. I said, "How could they have you up with a walker when you can't move your hip?" He said, "I don't know. He just forced me to, and I did it."
This I've gotta see!
That was really good news.
When I got there later tonight to say goodnight, however, his headache was still there and worse. He'd been struggling with nausea and vomiting - and went through a rough bout with that again while I was there.
I was able to stay and help the nurses get him cleaned up, which was good for me to be able to DO something and to show David my love in that way.
He brought up his dad again at that point and said this was all making him think a lot about Dad.
I can't help but remain concerned about this prolonged headache and nausea, but he was looking quite a bit better when I left, after having a bit of general washing up too.
He had a number of MRI/MRA's run today. The tests show that the clot/damage is on the right side towards the front. They are going to run more tests to try to discover the cause of the clotting. The tests I know about specifically are having to do with his heart. I don't remember the proper terms - the first one is a sort of internal echocardiogram using a device inserted in his esophagus (I think I have that right) - they may also take a somewhat more invasive look.
They are postulating right now that his heart is "throwing off" clots, perhaps because of a hole between chambers of the heart that did not close up after birth.
As of earlier today the best case scenario we were given was that he would be in the hospital for 2 to 3 more days and then come home (and have ongoing physical therapy). If not, then he would be in the hospital for 2 to 3 more days and then be sent to a rehab facility. He was supposed to have been moved out of ICU today, but there was no bed available in the part of the hospital they need to move him to. However, with the prolonged headache and other things he was experiencing tonight, his nurse expressed that she is very glad he is still in ICU and had not been moved. Perhaps that was Providence.
What words are there to express the gratitude we feel for friends and family who are pouring love and prayers over us? As some can attest, I am having a hard time accepting help. It's so overwhelming to me what is being done for us.
It's been an amazing experience to be ministered to by people who have also been through something where their life has turned entirely upside down - so, not only are they helping tangibly but are also teaching me to even know what it is that we need and reminding me that in allowing them to help us that not only are we being blessed, but it allows them to be blessed too.
I guess part of why it is still hard is that - as many words as I've written - it still doesn't feel real, so I feel like having people help is like playing some kind of crazy game. David is never sick. He's always been so strong. Up to Thursday night he was on a regular marathon training regimine. It seems more like a "test of the emergency broadcast system" or something. It doesn't yet seem fully real.
Oh, I can't sign off without writing about the miracle that occured. Family in MI, though so far away in space, has been talking together and planning how to help. I got a call from brother Tony tonight that Mom will be hear before noon tomorrow. I can't believe it! Not only that but she is flying from Grand Rapids right into our small town airport - and that that - rather than GR to San Francisco or something more major was the most inexpensive flight. Thank you so much, family for making that possible.
David is so eager to see you, Mom!
As Dad would say, and as Pastor Glenn has reminded us: God is good. God is good all the time. All the time, God is good.