To Lisa, Brenda and Barbara (and anyone else who wants to
know about the women’s retreat Saturday), here is my best attempt at sharing
what I heard. It may not be what you’re
looking for or hoping for, as what one person brings back from a retreat can
tend to be kind of idiosyncratic. (Shout
out to others who were there – if you want to jump in on the facebook thread that this is linked to and share what spoke to you at the conference, please do!!)
Anyway, it was basically a half-day retreat in 3 parts. The speakers were Pastor Mary Hulst and
Christian blogger Aleah Marsden. Pastor
Mary had the morning and afternoon sessions, and Aleah had the lunch
presentation. The last presentation of
the day, which was on Sabbath, spoke most strongly to me, but the others led up
to it well.
Preface – I wasn't sure I was going to make it to this
retreat. This semester has been even
busier than normal (if possible!) work has been piling up all week; I was
grading papers until almost midnight Friday night (the night before the conference) – and have all
the work-related things mentioned in my original facebook comment to do yet this weekend,
but I just knew I needed this and that it might help me find a different way, a
better way. Since my attendance was a
last minute decision I wasn't entirely clear going into the retreat on the details of what the day would hold, but I knew it was
supposed to have something to do with Resurrection Life and Sabbath . . .
MORNING SESSION – The first topic was Resurrection Life –
yea! But Pastor Mary started out by saying,
“What needs to happen before resurrection?”
And we all knew the answer: Death.
Then she began to talk about sin, and I thought, “Oh no. Here I've been so burdened and overwhelmed
for the last year or so – totally on survival mode and barely that – and we’re
going to start out all heavy and negative and talking about sin?! Ugh! I
need to hear about REST!”
But she went on into a reading from C. S. Lewis, The Great
Divorce – the story of the “ghost” with the lizard on his shoulder – basically
his pet sin – the need for it to die - the struggle involved – the outcome. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend
it! This portion starts partway through
chapter 11, beginning with the sentence, “I saw coming towards us a Ghost who
carried something on his shoulder.”
She read half of the story of that “ghost” and then talked
about the Seven Deadly Sins, one-by-one, which sounds really dreadful but was
really well done and actually quite “light” if I can use that word. She used examples that hit home for all of us
– allowing us to chuckle, but also to see clearly (in other words her approach
didn’t deepen the oppression I already feel).
After going through the "seven", she read the end of the story of the “ghost,”
which is quite triumphant! (Aside – I
was so taken by her speaking on the Seven Deadly Sins that I think I am finally
going to finish reading “Glittering Vices: A New Look at the Seven Deadly Sins
and Their Remedies” by Rebecca Konyndyk DeYoung – also an excellent book.)
LUNCH SESSION – Aleah Marsden spoke of something I hadn't heard of
before but seems like it might be a current catch-phrase in “bible study
circles” (of which I don’t have time to be a part right now) - the God
Margin. She spoke of how we “disqualify”
ourselves for what we are called to do (or might want to do) – disqualify
ourselves by seeing ourselves as too broken, not good enough, lacking this and
lacking that. She mentioned Abraham, who
was called to be a great nation, though his wife was barren – and of Moses who
was called to lead Israel, though he had a speech impediment – and of Peter who
was an uneducated fisherman but through whom Jesus chose to build His church –
of David, who was so lowly that his own father didn't think to call him from
the field when Samuel showed up.
She spoke of our need to come to the end of ourselves, which
can be scary, but that when we are moving in the direction God leads us in He
provides abundantly, but that we don’t see that until we get to the place where
we can’t make it work on our own – and that God bridges that margin between what
we are capable of on our own and what it is that we are being called to do.
She also spoke of being genuine and vulnerable – not putting
on a show for each other, but ministering to each other genuinely in community
by being genuine. Her passage was from I
Corinthians 1:26 through part of chapter 2, and she pointed out how Paul spoke
of doing what he did with much fear and trembling, so she encouraged us to, “Do
it afraid – do it anyway.” Some closing
ideas were that we need to reach the end of ourselves to find out that our
sufficiency is in Christ alone, and she reminded us that if we are still
breathing, then we are not finished yet, and God is not finished with us yet.
AFTERNOON SESSION – Sabbath/Resurrection Life – How do we make a
habit of it? (Aside – I’m not sure I
have a lot in the way of tips and tricks; what spoke to me more was of vision –
a fuller vision of Sabbath that might allow me to more effectively have it
happen in my life.) Pastor Mary began by
asking us (most, if not all of us having grown up in the church) what Sabbath
was to us in our childhoods . .
. the picture that people shared
was pretty bleak – lots of rules and what we could not do, but no discussion of
why we were not doing them. But then she
moved on to describe what Sabbath was meant to be.
She emphasized Sabbath as a gift, and she asked us who
rested first. God, of course. And then she asked us what the reason was –
was it that he was worn out? No. He was enjoying His creation and seeing that
it was good.
She spoke of Genesis as being written in the context of
Exodus and that in part it makes a distinction between the God of the Hebrews
and the gods of the Egyptians and other nations. Other gods didn't rest, nor were they
contented. The gods of other cultures
fought with each other, and they oppressed their people and messed with
them. Our God rested and gave rest to
His people as a gift. (She jokingly
play-acted an Israelite talking to an Egyptian whose main god is Ra, god of the
sun, and she said, “Yeah, well our God waited around all the way until day four before He got around to creating the sun.” – kind of like it was an afterthought rather than the be all
and end all.)
She talked about the first time Israel was impacted with
Sabbath was with the provision of manna – and how they couldn't collect extra
on days other than the day before the Sabbath (or it would get wormy) – and how
they had to collect extra manna on the day before the Sabbath because they were
not to work on the Sabbath AND because they were to trust God to provide for
them. (Personal note – I hadn't thought
about that story in a long time. I go
around collecting manna every day and every night feeling I have to keep so
many things working – and I do have a lot of responsibilities. Can I make the leap to trusting God to provide
if I do obey His command and receive His gift of Sabbath? I don't know, but that’s my goal now, and it
is a trust issue, and an obedience issue as well as being other things also).
Anyway, despite God leading them out of Egypt and out of
slavery, some of the Israelites were resistant and didn't obey – collected
extra manna on other days – didn't prepare for the Sabbath.
What Pastor Mary asked and said after that is what impacted
me most about the whole day. She asked
why the people would resist such a thing.
Her conclusion was that it was so ingrained in them from their time as
slaves in Egypt with Pharaoh constantly calling them lazy and pouring more work
on as they slaved for him that they had internalized the message, “Work sets
you free.” By commanding and giving
Sabbath God was trying to teach them that they were under new management and
that He would take care of them – that they were no longer slaves but were in
relationship and that He was giving them the gift of Sabbath. She challenged us to think about the
difference between being a slave and being in a relationship and how Sabbath
speaks to that. She shared what I find
to be a truth in my life, “We mark who
we are by how hard we’re working, and by so doing we are putting ourselves back
into slavery.”
That message right there is what I think will be most
powerful as I work to change this in my own life. God has set me free and has gifted me with
Sabbath, but I am defining myself by work and therefore willingly putting
myself in slavery.
She spoke also of how the Sabbath is “ .
. . to the Lord your God.” And there were many things meant by that –
that it isn't about what other people do or don’t see you doing on Sabbath,
that it is between you and God – that it is a relationship, God saying, “How
can you and I be in relation together?”
Additionally it isn't about “me time.”
Now that one kind of stopped me in my tracks, because I am
in such desperate need of “me time,” so I started to feel a bit resentful –
thinking “Oh, lovely, so God is yet ANOTHER being who wants something from me and wants to
take time from me.” But I realized I
need Sabbath relation with God AND I need “me time” too and that this isn't
something I can multi-task and “double-dip” on.
It’s hard for me even to write what I’m writing; I'm so work-oriented that I
fear people will read it and think I’m lazy.
I am so defined by my work and so scared of anyone thinking I’m not
working hard enough, but I realized yesterday I cannot be healthy emotionally,
spiritually or physically – nor can I even do my work well – if I do not have both
rest and Sabbath. So this is not
optional.
She spoke of Sabbath as a “saying no” – saying no to kids in
soccer on Sunday – saying no to doing our shopping on Sunday – saying no to
doing our normal work on Sunday – and that by saying no we flex our moral
muscles to say no to other things and to say yes to a different kind of life.
She spoke of writings of the prophets in the old testament,
and this is something I need to research, as scripture reading for me is
another thing that has been more and more sacrificed to my job, so I don’t remember the
details of all those books anymore, but she said that the reason the Israelites
were often in exile was not due to adultery or murder but due to them not
keeping the Sabbath holy. She especially
referenced Nehemiah and the commerce that was being done on the Sabbath and how
Nehemiah had the gates to the city shut when the evening shadows fell at the
beginning of Sabbath in order to keep the vendors out. He set a guard on the gates in order to keep
the Sabbath Day holy.
Another very interesting thing she pointed out is that many
other gods sanctify space, but our God sanctifies time. God doesn't call us to make pilgrimages to places that are
holy – every square inch of creation is to be redeemed. What God has set aside as holy is time – one day
in seven. Not all people own property,
but all people have time.
She went on to share about how Jesus came on the scene and
really messed with people's heads because by that time the Pharisees had taken
the Sabbath and made it about a bunch of rules and regulations – that if your
hat fell into a well on the Sabbath you couldn't get it out, but if your ox
fell into the well you could - you could only walk so many steps on the Sabbath Day, etc. It seems
that Jesus' favorite day to heal was on
the Sabbath (which was against the Pharisaic law). He was making a point. What is more important - obeying a man-made rule or caring for one of God's children?
While sharing the story of Jesus healing on the Sabbath she went on a beautiful tangent about Him healing a man's withered hand, and that our hand is what we typically use for work and for creating things, so it is something by which we express our image-bearing nature. In some sense through that particular healing on the Sabbath Jesus was sanctifying work as well. My take was that work and Sabbath are two sides of one coin. Both are needed and each benefits and blesses the other.
Pastor Mary did give some suggestions about how to live out
the Sabbath day – letting it be about investing deeply in relationships that
matter – choosing to engage in relation with God and others rather than in
our normal work activities or errands. She
shared what her Sabbath day looks like – part of which involves not being on
the internet at all – having a day of quiet – of being able to listen to God.
She also mentioned
three things to meditate on during Sabbath:
1)
I am enough.
2)
I have enough.
3)
God takes care of everything.
She expanded on
those. With “I am enough” – it is as the
hymn says, “Just as I am without one plea.”
With “I have enough” – it is “I don’t need to use today to strive to get
ahead or to improve or be better or have more; I have enough.” To not keep Sabbath is rebellion against God
because we don’t believe God can take care of things (and this is very counter
cultural!).
HOWEVER!! She did acknowledge that some people are
blessed with more of an abundance of time than others are – different seasons
of life. She mentioned people with young
children for whom six hours of sleep a night would be a vacation. She mentioned people who work two jobs seven
days a week just to keep food on the table.
And what she challenged us with is that those who are blessed with an
abundance of time should find ways to give time to others who do not have it so
that they too can be blessed with Sabbath as well. Just as we give money where needed we can think similarly of giving the gift of time.
Additionally, she is
a minister, so Sunday is not her Sabbath, so hers doesn't look like what it
does for most others, so somehow we each have to find our way of keeping
Sabbath, and that doesn't necessarily mean it is Sunday, but somehow we need to
find the way to have time set apart in which we don’t do our
normal activities (i.e. rest from our labors), in which we invest in
relationship with God and others, and in which, by so doing, we move into (live into) Resurrection Life.
ADDITION – I found
out that she was preaching this morning in our area on the topic of “God’s Care
for Elijah and Us” from I Kings 19:1-18.
I needed to hear that too, because in all the busyness I have lost the
ability to truly know that God does love me and care for me. My writing here is already far too long, but just
in closing let me say that passage is about where Elijah is at after the
showdown with the prophets of Baal on Mount Carmel and then Jezebel threatening
his life and him running – upset,
exhausted and despairing. And what is
the first thing God does? God gives him “a
snack and a nap.” Isn't this what a parent does for a child? We know our little ones can't cope when hungry and tired. God knows what we need too, and he provided Elijah with "a snack and a nap."
Another thing I
noted from the sermon is the statement that satan keeps us busy and spread so thin that we can’t hear God. I know that's where
I am and have been for a while (and it sounds like others of you are too otherwise I don't think multiple people would have asked me to share). This weekend I've been challenged to change that, and I've been
shown the beginning of the path. So, to those of you who
asked to know more about the conference, I hope you find something in here that
is helpful to you, but let me add that I’m glad you asked because it gave me a
chance to process all this and to now have it in a format that I can go back to
and remind myself of as I continue my journey!
PS I've written a lot very quickly without a chance to edit and have also gotten pretty vulnerable in this post, so, as Emily Dickinson asked in one of her poems, I would ask that as you read you "judge tenderly of me." This is written only to be helpful and with no other intent.
