Friday, June 15, 2018

I am not resigned

Today I went to the second funeral in as many weeks - and have been to 4 funerals this spring.  Though I do believe in Heaven, death certainly remains an enemy.  Along with Edna St. Vincent Millay in her poem Dirge Without Music, I do not approve, and I am not resigned.


I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.
So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:
Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely.  Crowned
With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.

Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.
Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.
A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,
A formula, a phrase remains,—but the best is lost.

The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love,—
They are gone.  They are gone to feed the roses.  Elegant and curled
Is the blossom.  Fragrant is the blossom.  I know.  But I do not approve.
More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.

Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know.  But I do not approve.  And I am not resigned.

Tuesday, May 29, 2018


There is not one blade of grass, there is no color in this world that is not intended to make us rejoice.
~John Calvin (1509-1564) 

Monday, May 28, 2018


Even when the
words are civil
and polite
may not
seem right.

Distance can be felt,
hangs not like
a bridge suspended
by ropes but
like the ropes

It is as if the knots
that held them
have slipped
and all that once
seemed solid
is left dangling.

~ Ed Bearden
in more than soil more than sky

Monday, May 14, 2018

With Good Grace

"Learn to... be what you are, and learn to resign with a good grace all that you are not."
                                                                                                                                           ~Henri-Frédéric Amiel

Saturday, May 12, 2018

A Soldier's Thoughts: Before Breakfast

You weren't the first,
God knows you weren't the last

Of all the others,
Your mark stays with me

It was the shot,
I never should've taken

And every morning since,
It's your eyes I see

The death of you,
Had become the life of me.

                                               ~Sean Barnett
in more than soil more than sky

This poem was written by a former (math) student of mine.  I knew when I taught him that he had served our country, but I didn't know until later that he was a poet.  I first came across this poem years ago, and it blew me away - still does every time I read it.  I recently shared this poem with a friend, and when she responded with, "Wow, that's gripping," I replied, "Isn't it?!  It knocks me off my feet every time I come across it, and it reminds me what a privilege it is to teach.  He sat and learned math from me, but he knows so much that I do not and that I never will  .  .  ."

Thursday, May 03, 2018

Reminders to Self

A dear friend of mine has sent on the items below because of his knowledge of who my current deep struggle with whether or not to remain in my career and of me being a hyper-conscientious person in a job that has always been open-ended but now has begun demanding more and more  .  .  .  and more and more  .  .  .  and more  .  .  .  and more  .  .  .  and  .  .  .

In my contract is the following phrase, "and other tasks as assigned."  Um, yeah, some folks at the top are running rather wild with that these days, and my hyper-conscientiousness is not a good fit here - at least not if I plan to continue being mentally and physically healthy enough to go on living for more than another year or so.

If you are such a person as well (or if you are currently a mathematics professor at the community college level in California!), parts of the video/podcast may resonate with you as well!

In this first one, the relevant portion is 55:30 to 58:34, a section which includes the following wisdom: "Look, even God had to rest one day a week, so you don't have to assume that if God had to rest one day a week that maybe you are allowed to work non-stop, without a break at all."

One person's solution to misery in her work resonates really well with me - and that is to become a writer. Yeah, I know, EVERYONE wants to be a published author, and fewer than 1% of people that try their hand at it are successful, but these days when I engage in my current career, I feel like I'm dying, but when I write I come alive!  The speaker says she was miserable and was hopeless at her work.  I'm not hopeless at my work; in fact I'm very, very good at it, but I AM unutterably miserable! I used to love my work; I actually used to say, "Why would anyone want to retire?!  I want to work until I'm 80 or 90 years old!"  Now all I want to do is run like hell!  But if I do, though I'll be far happier, I'll lose half our household income, my benefits, any hope of a decent amount of income in retirement  .  .  .  but what good is holding onto all those things if this job is going to kill me within a year or two anyway?

(Click here for podcast - pertinent section is 12:30-14:21)

Thursday, March 01, 2018

Pi Day is Coming!


Hello MJC math colleagues!  Would you be willing to help out with pi-related activities at the upcoming Pi Day event?  MJC has been hosting Pi Day since 2015.  It's been very well attended, as you can see below:

And, of course, pizza pie and dessert pi are available!  Food is a big draw - especially for college students!


Pi Chain

Buffon's Needle


Digits of Pi Memorization Contest

(The winner - below - made it to 202 digits!)

We also have activities for "discovering" pi (by measuring circumferences and diameters of circular objects) and seeing amazing pi-related surprises!


It's also a great excuse to wear your cool math tee-shirts!

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Penrose Connections

Two years ago I was granted a sabbatical to study the history of mathematics in northern Europe from the Renaissance to the present, and I kept a blog at this link about that trip.  Two months ago opportunity came up to revisit one of the locations I had spent time in on sabbatical, the amazing city of Edinburgh.

Even though I was there "just for fun" this time, I couldn't help but look into some of the things related to math that I had missed initially.  One mathematician I'm quite interested in is Roger Penrose whose "impossible shapes" made it into the movie Inception.

Penrose's mathematical work takes inspiration from many places, including the world of art.  He collaborated with artist M. C. Escher, and he had an uncle who was an artist and a collector of surrealist art.  This uncle was Roland Penrose, and his collection is housed at "Modern Two" in Edinburgh.  The rest of this blog consists of photographs I took in the Roland Penrose Gallery of "Modern Two."  They may give a sense of one influence in the life of mathematician Roger Penrose.

Maternity by Miro
Never Again by Tanguy
The Black Flag by Magritte
Untitled by Roland Penrose
The Joy of Living by Ernst
Hat in Hand, Hat on Head by Ernst
By Roland Penrose

Monday, December 18, 2017

Edinburgh for Inklings

Dear Inklings,

I thought this would be a good venue through which to share about my and David's recent celebratory trip to Scotland.  I'll just choose two highlights - reason for celebration - and bell ringing (since that ties in with our recent reading of Sayers' Nine Tailors).


On November 2, 2017 we celebrated 10 years of stroke recovery for David.  Among other reasons for our trips, climbing Arthur's Seat in Edinburgh seemed a particularly good way to celebrate that recovery:
St. Margaret's Loch, ruins of St. Anthony's Chapel, and Arthur's Seat
Arthur's Seat
Ten years ago David suffered a massive stroke and spent a month in rehab relearning how to walk (as well as relearning a lot of other things).  Last month he climbed to the top of Arthur's Seat, which towers over the city of Edinburgh.  I consider this a picture of triumph!


I had worshiped in St. Cuthbert's last spring during my sabbatical.  It is Presbyterian, which is closely related to my faith tradition - and it is also where John Napier, a mathematician I'd been there to study the previous year, had served as elder in the 1500s.  

While looking into worship times for this fall, I noticed that bell-ringing practice would be taking place on Tuesday night while we were there.  I looked into attending practice and was told by one of the clergy that I might be allowed to sit in - certainly if I were a bell-ringer from elsewhere I would be - but that it wouldn't be a sure thing since I was not myself a bell-ringer.  Because David and I had only three days and so much we wanted to see, I decided not to plan around that possibility but rather to hope to at least show up in the surrounding kirkyard to hear the practice from outside.

After a long day of walking, while David saved me a seat at Shandwick's for dinner a couple of blocks away, I (foolishly?) headed back down into the kirkyard.  I ADORE creepy cemeteries and make a point of seeking them out.  And in the daytime this is one of the creepiest I've ever seen.  At night  .  .  .  in the dark  .  .  .  quite far below the level of the street  .  .  .  alone  .  .  .  umm  .  .  .  let's just say I REALLY wanted to hear those bells!

First a video of practice and then some pictures of the kirk:

My camera picked up a lot of light and made it look brighter down there than it actually was  .  .  .  just sayin'  .  .  .

Tombstone in St. Cuthbert's kirkyard taken earlier in the day

St. Cuthbert's as seen from Edinburgh Castle
Edinburgh Castle as seen from the south side of St. Cuthbert's
St. Cuthbert's viewed from the south
Though our "related" mystery reading was by Sayers, I thought it worth noting that mystery writer Agatha Christie was married in the small WWI Memorial Chapel of this kirk, which is where the evening service David and I attended was held.  I don't have pictures of the inside, but I snapped one of the entrance to this chapel.

For bell-ringing comparison, here is a video I took during my sabbatical on my way to worship Sunday morning.  Sadly, you can barely hear this wonderful artistry above the street noise!

Thursday, December 07, 2017

Our Trees: In Memorium

Learning By Doing

They're taking down a tree at the front door,
The power saw is snarling at some nerves,
Whining at others. Now and then it grunts,
And sawdust falls like snow or a drift of seeds.
Rotten, they tell us, at the fork, and one
Big wind would bring it down. So what they do
They do, as usual, to do us good.
Whatever cannot carry its own weight
Has got to go, and so on; you expect
To hear them talking next about survival
And the values of a free society.
For in the explanations people give
On these occasions there is generally some
Mean-spirited moral point, and everyone
Privately wonders if his neighbors plan
To saw him up before he falls on them.

Maybe a hundred years in sun and shower
Dismantled in a morning and let down
Out of itself a finger at a time
And then an arm, and so down to the trunk,
Until there's nothing left to hold on to
Or snub the splintery holding rope around,
And where those big green divagations were
So loftily with shadows interleaved
The absent-minded blue rains in on us.
Now that they've got it sectioned on the ground

It looks as though somebody made a plain
Error in diagnosis, for the wood
Looks sweet and sound throughout. You couldn't know,
Of course, until you took it down. That's what
Experts are for, and these experts stand round
The giant pieces of tree as though expecting
An instruction booklet from the factory
Before they try to put it back together.

Anyhow, there it isn't, on the ground.
Next come the tractor and the crowbar crew
To extirpate what's left and fill the grave.
Maybe tomorrow grass seed will be sown.
There's some mean-spirited moral point in that
As well: you learn to bury your mistakes,
Though for a while at dusk the darkening air
Will be with many shadows interleaved,
And pierced with a bewilderment of birds
~by Howard Nemerov

Wednesday, November 01, 2017


For God is in heaven, and you upon earth.
—Ecclesiastes 5:2
Don’t take your eyes off the road.
Accept nothing as given.
Watch where you put your hands.
You’re here and God’s in heaven.
Be careful where you step.
The drop-off’s somewhere near.
The fog won’t lift tonight.
God’s in heaven. You’re here.
That word you wish to say,
That score you’d like to even—
Don’t hurry either while
You’re here and God’s in heaven.
The earth says, “Take the wheel.
But no matter how you steer,
I’ll still go round in circles.
God’s in heaven. You’re here.”
by Mark Jarman

Monday, August 07, 2017

The End of Liars

But the king will rejoice in God; Everyone who swears by Him will glory, For the mouths of those who speak lies will be stopped.
~Psalm 63:11 

Friday, June 16, 2017

Haply May Remember, Haply May Forget

When I am dead, my dearest, 
Sing no sad songs for me; 
Plant thou no roses at my head, 
Nor shady cypress tree: 
Be the green grass above me 
With showers and dewdrops wet; 
And if thou wilt, remember, 
And if thou wilt, forget. 

I shall not see the shadows, 
I shall not feel the rain; 
I shall not hear the nightingale 
Sing on, as if in pain: 
And dreaming through the twilight 
That doth not rise nor set, 
Haply I may remember, 
And haply may forget. 

~Christina Rossetti

Rossetti Grave at Highgate Cemetery, London, April 2016

Monday, March 20, 2017


This blog seems to be becoming "Mostly Math" instead of "Mostly Poetry." Once again I'm posting one side of a "private" math conversation.  Feel free to take it or leave it - or try to figure out what is going on!


Here are copies of a few problems involving the graphing of rational expressions from my precalc notes.  My notes are usually pretty sloppy - work presented on the board being prettier, but, hopefully, this gives you some ideas.

Rational Graph Problem 1:

Rational Graph Problem 2:

And now moving on to math that I think is prettier, but I'm not sure why this image decided to go in upside-down (and no matter what I do they won't flip)!!  This is the beginning of my notes on the binomial theorem, which relates to combinatorics and Pascal's Triangle:

Binomial Theorem Introduction:

And, last but not least, we have Mathematical Induction.  Part of why I think this is pretty is because you often get to use sigma notation in the proofs - see the second-to-last and third-to-last pictures, although there's not much sigma notation there.

Mathematical Induction:

I wish we lived closer!  It would be so much fun to go over these with you rather than just sending pictures.  I also wish I had time to Skype right now, but this semester is TOTALLY kicking my butt!  A good resource for further explanation of these topics is the Khan Academy videos.  The best way to get there (to navigate) is to go to YouTube and then search for the topic and type "khan" - rather than trying to go to the Khan Academy site, which for some reason wants you to sign in, even though it's free, and that makes it a little hard to navigate.

I hope this helps!!!!

Sunday, February 26, 2017

The Poem as Mask

When I wrote of the women in their dances and wildness, it was a mask,
on their mountain, gold-hunting, singing, in orgy,
it was a mask; when I wrote of the god,
fragmented, exiled from himself, his life, the love gone down with song,
it was myself, split open, unable to speak, in exile from myself.

There is no mountain, there is no god, there is memory
of my torn life, myself split open in sleep, the rescued child
beside me among the doctors, and a word
of rescue from the great eyes.

No more masks!  Mo more mythologies!

Now, for the first time, the god lifts his hand,
the fragments join in me with their own music.

~ Muriel Rukeyser (1968)

Monday, October 24, 2016

For My Students Only :-)

Upper Bound Theorem as presented in earlier version of text!