- not much to share tonight -
- just that we now know he will be in Memorial for 2 to 3 more days (for sure), because they want to get his Coumadin (blood-thinner) levels correct before they send him to rehab. I was sure hoping Mom would still be here when he got home to help me care for him. Again, we need to take one day at a time - having no idea yet about so many things.
I'm not sure when we will be consulting with the cardio surgeon from Sacramento, but we are sure praying that the surgery can be done using catheterization rather than open heart. That would really be a wonderful blessing for things to work out in that way.
Thank you to all of you for your prayers and comments and kind words and good wishes. They mean so much to us!! We feel so loved and supported, and that is a real boost at this time!
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Thurs. Afternoon David Update
I'm being naughty. I'm procrastinating on doing my homework and am blogging instead.
I have a statistics lab due in less than half an hour, but this is the first time I have looked at my homework since David had a stroke, and it looks to me like it is written in Coptic. It seems like something from centuries ago and worlds away. I can't seem to get my brain to go in that direction at all. Even when I am not thinking consciously about our situation my mind must just be working on it. I have never made such mistakes in teaching as I have made this week. In the past no matter what is going on in my life, I have been able to teach - to teach clearly, confidently and well. I've always been able to either compartmentalize or multitask. This is just a whole different ballgame.
Thankfully I have a bright group of students who catch me when I make an error, and we fix it, and we move on. I'm thankful for how gracious my students have been.
On Friday night, the night of David's stroke, I was up all night wanting to DO something. I wrote my professors and told them I would most likely not be finishing out the semester and was not sure about my future in the grad program. Basically I was clearing my plate in order to be totally available to David and the boys. When I told David in ICU the next day, he was appalled and said, "Don't you dare! You've put too much into this!" So, I am going to try to continue. I hope I can get my ability to focus and to perform well in classrooms both as teacher and as student. If I can just get a couple of good nights of sleep in, I think I can.
OK, now about David - not much new to relate. We are learning to nod our head and smile and then entirely disregard everything we are told about when he is going to be discharged and to where he is going to be discharged. Yesterday and today we've been hearing he was being discharged (perhaps home) TODAY. Now we hear he is "definitely" going to a rehab facility, and that it might be today (I doubt it at this point in the day) or within the next 2 to 3 days.
So, we continue to play a waiting game.
After the heart cath last night David had to lie still for 4 hours, and that was painful on his back, but he is doing well today and is happy he gets to eat (yea! no tests today!). He looks good. When I went to visit him he was sitting up in a chair. He is in a much smaller older room now, which is kind of a bummer - can't see the clock, can't see a window - but if that's the worst of it, that's not too bad. I am eager for his sake, though, for him to be discharged to a bigger, brighter place where he can work more on his physical therapy and just keep moving up!
I have a statistics lab due in less than half an hour, but this is the first time I have looked at my homework since David had a stroke, and it looks to me like it is written in Coptic. It seems like something from centuries ago and worlds away. I can't seem to get my brain to go in that direction at all. Even when I am not thinking consciously about our situation my mind must just be working on it. I have never made such mistakes in teaching as I have made this week. In the past no matter what is going on in my life, I have been able to teach - to teach clearly, confidently and well. I've always been able to either compartmentalize or multitask. This is just a whole different ballgame.
Thankfully I have a bright group of students who catch me when I make an error, and we fix it, and we move on. I'm thankful for how gracious my students have been.
On Friday night, the night of David's stroke, I was up all night wanting to DO something. I wrote my professors and told them I would most likely not be finishing out the semester and was not sure about my future in the grad program. Basically I was clearing my plate in order to be totally available to David and the boys. When I told David in ICU the next day, he was appalled and said, "Don't you dare! You've put too much into this!" So, I am going to try to continue. I hope I can get my ability to focus and to perform well in classrooms both as teacher and as student. If I can just get a couple of good nights of sleep in, I think I can.
OK, now about David - not much new to relate. We are learning to nod our head and smile and then entirely disregard everything we are told about when he is going to be discharged and to where he is going to be discharged. Yesterday and today we've been hearing he was being discharged (perhaps home) TODAY. Now we hear he is "definitely" going to a rehab facility, and that it might be today (I doubt it at this point in the day) or within the next 2 to 3 days.
So, we continue to play a waiting game.
After the heart cath last night David had to lie still for 4 hours, and that was painful on his back, but he is doing well today and is happy he gets to eat (yea! no tests today!). He looks good. When I went to visit him he was sitting up in a chair. He is in a much smaller older room now, which is kind of a bummer - can't see the clock, can't see a window - but if that's the worst of it, that's not too bad. I am eager for his sake, though, for him to be discharged to a bigger, brighter place where he can work more on his physical therapy and just keep moving up!
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Heart Cath Results
David finally had his heart catheterization tonight, and I finally got to speak with his cardiologist in person.
The procedure went well, and David is SO happy to be able to eat again!
I sort of don't know how to go about writing this post. I'll just do my best to say what the doctor told me. David will definitely need heart surgery. Dr. Pohwani, his cardiologist, wants to refer us to a surgeon in Sacramento. He is hoping the hole in David's heart will be able to be patched through a catheterization process rather than through open heart surgery. This surgeon will consult with us and let us know if David is a good candidate for this or not. If not, then he will have open heart surgery instead.
I was asking a LOT of questions, and I think the doctor thought I was resistant to surgery (which wasn't the case - I just really wanted to know the details especially after having been told by someone else earlier that there could be a problem with patching his heart because the right side is bigger than the left - as I was writing about in my last post). Anyway, the doctor looked me in the eye and said, "If he has another stroke, he will die."
I reassured the doctor very quickly that I was not resistant to surgery but that I just wanted to understand as fully as I could.
He told us we were very lucky. We are lucky we had warnings, because they could have been fatal rather than being warnings. He also told us we were very lucky that he received tPA in ER, that this was a "true stroke, a major stroke." Dr. Pohwani said that if David had not received the tPA he would have been left permanently paralyzed on his left side.
David will be in a different room at Memorial tomorrow morning and early afternoon (on second floor in telemetry), and then he will be transferred to a rehab facility. He will be put on Coumadin rather than the Aggrenox he is on now as a blood thinner.
We are sure learning to live one day at a time. I have no idea how long he will be in rehab. I have no idea how long it will be before surgery. A few days ago I was told it would be a couple of months before surgery so he could get his strength back, but tonight Dr. Pohwani was talking about getting him in "as soon as possible." I don't know what that means - maybe "as soon as possible" IS a few months; I don't know. At the time of the surgery, if he is able to have the cath type he will be in the hospital in Sacramento for about 5 days with that. I really don't know what the time frame is, but it looks like a rather long road ahead, yet we are finding ourselves able to take it one day at a time.
I was really impressed with Dr. Pohwani. David was not supposed to have been his patient, but for some reason he ended up doing David's first test. He told me tonight he wanted to stay with this case because it really scared him. He told me David is only one year older than he is. He seems to really identify with David. I'm really grateful for the personal interest Dr. Pohwani has taken in David's case.
I'm not sure what he meant, but Dr. Pohwani said this has really been on his mind, and he's been puzzling over it for two days trying to understand what is going on with David, which is why he ran so many tests. I'm just so thankful he was so very, very thorough.
I truly do believe that David will recover fully. I am very confident about that. The one thing that is fearful for me right now is that for 5 to 7 days before his surgery he will have to be taken off the Coumadin in order for his blood to clot regularly again. That window of time scares me after having heard the doctor say tonight that another stroke would kill him. I think for those 5 to 7 days I won't be able to sleep at all but will be wanting to watch over David all the time. I don't even know if that is a rational fear or not, but it is the only fear I'm feeling right now - that window of time.
I'm so grateful for the technology that is available - that they are able to send a "camera" right into David's heart to see what is going on. I'm also so grateful for the medication tPA. I'm grateful too for all the well-trained medical personnel who have been working with David.
The procedure went well, and David is SO happy to be able to eat again!
I sort of don't know how to go about writing this post. I'll just do my best to say what the doctor told me. David will definitely need heart surgery. Dr. Pohwani, his cardiologist, wants to refer us to a surgeon in Sacramento. He is hoping the hole in David's heart will be able to be patched through a catheterization process rather than through open heart surgery. This surgeon will consult with us and let us know if David is a good candidate for this or not. If not, then he will have open heart surgery instead.
I was asking a LOT of questions, and I think the doctor thought I was resistant to surgery (which wasn't the case - I just really wanted to know the details especially after having been told by someone else earlier that there could be a problem with patching his heart because the right side is bigger than the left - as I was writing about in my last post). Anyway, the doctor looked me in the eye and said, "If he has another stroke, he will die."
I reassured the doctor very quickly that I was not resistant to surgery but that I just wanted to understand as fully as I could.
He told us we were very lucky. We are lucky we had warnings, because they could have been fatal rather than being warnings. He also told us we were very lucky that he received tPA in ER, that this was a "true stroke, a major stroke." Dr. Pohwani said that if David had not received the tPA he would have been left permanently paralyzed on his left side.
David will be in a different room at Memorial tomorrow morning and early afternoon (on second floor in telemetry), and then he will be transferred to a rehab facility. He will be put on Coumadin rather than the Aggrenox he is on now as a blood thinner.
We are sure learning to live one day at a time. I have no idea how long he will be in rehab. I have no idea how long it will be before surgery. A few days ago I was told it would be a couple of months before surgery so he could get his strength back, but tonight Dr. Pohwani was talking about getting him in "as soon as possible." I don't know what that means - maybe "as soon as possible" IS a few months; I don't know. At the time of the surgery, if he is able to have the cath type he will be in the hospital in Sacramento for about 5 days with that. I really don't know what the time frame is, but it looks like a rather long road ahead, yet we are finding ourselves able to take it one day at a time.
I was really impressed with Dr. Pohwani. David was not supposed to have been his patient, but for some reason he ended up doing David's first test. He told me tonight he wanted to stay with this case because it really scared him. He told me David is only one year older than he is. He seems to really identify with David. I'm really grateful for the personal interest Dr. Pohwani has taken in David's case.
I'm not sure what he meant, but Dr. Pohwani said this has really been on his mind, and he's been puzzling over it for two days trying to understand what is going on with David, which is why he ran so many tests. I'm just so thankful he was so very, very thorough.
I truly do believe that David will recover fully. I am very confident about that. The one thing that is fearful for me right now is that for 5 to 7 days before his surgery he will have to be taken off the Coumadin in order for his blood to clot regularly again. That window of time scares me after having heard the doctor say tonight that another stroke would kill him. I think for those 5 to 7 days I won't be able to sleep at all but will be wanting to watch over David all the time. I don't even know if that is a rational fear or not, but it is the only fear I'm feeling right now - that window of time.
I'm so grateful for the technology that is available - that they are able to send a "camera" right into David's heart to see what is going on. I'm also so grateful for the medication tPA. I'm grateful too for all the well-trained medical personnel who have been working with David.
Wednesday Afternoon David Update
I finally had a chance to talk with one of the doctors today. He explained a bit, and I'm not sure I have it all straight, but I'll share what I have (any medical friends of mine reading this, feel free to correct me or enlighten me further, please).
It seems that the hole in his heart IS the significant problem afterall, and that that has something to do with the right side of his heart being enlarged. Typically the left side is larger (thicker), because it pumps blood to the whole body, and the right side pumps only to the lungs. (We're learning so much!). The lungs act to filter small clots.
There is a change in direction of flow of blood within David's heart that has made his right side work harder and thus become bigger. The way the doctor put it today, the right side finally said, "Enough!" and shifted some back to the left, and that's when the stroke happened.
They're continuing to run tests on his heart not so much to figure out the cause but to figure out where to go from here. His body has adjusted to his heart being this way, and, although the hole is a problem, just going in and patching it might be a BIGGER problem.
He is regaining more and more movement as each day goes by. He is now able to raise his arm above his head, so he has shoulder movement. I saw improvement today in his ability to grasp with his left hand - could do it yesterday but not as well as today. His knee has a lot of movement, but often not well controlled. He still has no movement in his foot.
I was there today when PT came and got him up using the walker, and was pleased to see he went a few feet further than Sunday night. They also had him doing some exercises in bed to work on balance and strength. They are very impressed with his progress.
On the down side, because of that work the headache he had finally gotten rid of came back, and he's been feeling really miserable all afternoon because of that. In this whole ordeal it's been the headaches that have bothered him most. They're quite intense, and it bothers him that they keep him from being himself.
Originally the heart cath was going to be yesterday afternoon, then this morning, then at noon today, now we hear it is to be early evening. We are so eager to hear the report and to know a little more clearly what the future holds.
In my next post I'll try to share some of the small miracles we are seeing everyday in the way God is orchestrating things in our lives. Some really cool things happened today, but I'm too tired to share the stories well now. I'll be sure to get them up soon.
It seems that the hole in his heart IS the significant problem afterall, and that that has something to do with the right side of his heart being enlarged. Typically the left side is larger (thicker), because it pumps blood to the whole body, and the right side pumps only to the lungs. (We're learning so much!). The lungs act to filter small clots.
There is a change in direction of flow of blood within David's heart that has made his right side work harder and thus become bigger. The way the doctor put it today, the right side finally said, "Enough!" and shifted some back to the left, and that's when the stroke happened.
They're continuing to run tests on his heart not so much to figure out the cause but to figure out where to go from here. His body has adjusted to his heart being this way, and, although the hole is a problem, just going in and patching it might be a BIGGER problem.
He is regaining more and more movement as each day goes by. He is now able to raise his arm above his head, so he has shoulder movement. I saw improvement today in his ability to grasp with his left hand - could do it yesterday but not as well as today. His knee has a lot of movement, but often not well controlled. He still has no movement in his foot.
I was there today when PT came and got him up using the walker, and was pleased to see he went a few feet further than Sunday night. They also had him doing some exercises in bed to work on balance and strength. They are very impressed with his progress.
On the down side, because of that work the headache he had finally gotten rid of came back, and he's been feeling really miserable all afternoon because of that. In this whole ordeal it's been the headaches that have bothered him most. They're quite intense, and it bothers him that they keep him from being himself.
Originally the heart cath was going to be yesterday afternoon, then this morning, then at noon today, now we hear it is to be early evening. We are so eager to hear the report and to know a little more clearly what the future holds.
In my next post I'll try to share some of the small miracles we are seeing everyday in the way God is orchestrating things in our lives. Some really cool things happened today, but I'm too tired to share the stories well now. I'll be sure to get them up soon.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Tues. Night Update on David
When I visited David tonight I asked him if there was anything he'd like me to post here, and he said, "Thank you to everyone."
There is very little new to report. His neurologist came by today and said he is pleased with David's progress.
We do not yet have news on David's cardio CT scan today. David thinks the cardiologist is waiting until after the heart catheterization tomorrow in order to consider both tests before expressing the results. All we know about the CT scan is that they got good, clear pictures. It sounds like the heart cath won't be done until afternoon tomorrow, so I'm not sure when we will hear the results.
There is very little new to report. His neurologist came by today and said he is pleased with David's progress.
We do not yet have news on David's cardio CT scan today. David thinks the cardiologist is waiting until after the heart catheterization tomorrow in order to consider both tests before expressing the results. All we know about the CT scan is that they got good, clear pictures. It sounds like the heart cath won't be done until afternoon tomorrow, so I'm not sure when we will hear the results.
PS I've been told a couple of times in recent days that people are appreciating seeing pictures. This may be overkill, but if you'd like to see more pictures, click here. There are 20 or more pictures here of our life together that I put up in celebration of our 20th anniversary this year. If you do decide to check them out, I hope you enjoy them or at least get a laugh out of the 80's styles in some of them!
Tuesday Morning Update (UPDATED)
I am posting from work today - my first day back. I was gapping out a bit in my teaching (for instance saying terms correctly but spelling them wrong - I just said to them, "Do as I say, not as I do!"), but it was good to be here and I think will help get to that "new normal" that we need to reach.
As well as the (angiogram) CT scan of the arteries around his heart today he will be having a heart catheterization tomorrow.
He saw his cardiologist this morning, and from what David told me I feel really good about this doctor. He was not the one who was supposed to have done the first test on his heart, but now that he has he has said to David, "I'm ON this one. I wasn't going to be, but since I did the first test I'm going to see it through." He expressed that he was "quite concerned" (and when I write that I mean it in a good way - that he is taking this very seriously and determined to get to the bottom of it). Apparently whatever is going on with David's heart is quite unusual and they just don't have a clear idea of what is happening, so he is just going to keep running tests until they do. We continue to be so thankful for the persistence of the doctors who have been working with David in trying to determine what is happening. (An update to this is that a friend who is a nurse came by this morning and said this was the cardiologist her husband had, and she said that he is really good and will pursue this all the way, so that encourages us even more.)
The cardiologist said that if heart surgery needs to be done it will happen in a couple of months and that David needs to regain strength before going through surgery.
Because of the hole in his heart the doctor asked him if he had ever been diagnosed with a heart murmur. David has not, and this doctor said he did not hear a murmur either and thought that was strange.
David rested very well last night. The headache is coming better and better under control, and he has learned some tricks from the PT and nurses about how to adjust his position in bed (e.g. to slip his right foot under his left leg in order to move it), so he is able to make himself more comfortable on his own, which is a tremendous blessing to him.
We appreciate your continued prayers so much. Right now our major focus is the desire that these tests will point to something conclusive and that whatever the case is that there will be able to be appropriate medical intervention that will fully correct it. On a less serious note, I would like to request prayer that I will have strength and wellness. I woke up this morning with a pretty bad sore throat - would really like that to go away so I can do what I need to do for my family and so that I don't pass anything on to David.
As well as the (angiogram) CT scan of the arteries around his heart today he will be having a heart catheterization tomorrow.
He saw his cardiologist this morning, and from what David told me I feel really good about this doctor. He was not the one who was supposed to have done the first test on his heart, but now that he has he has said to David, "I'm ON this one. I wasn't going to be, but since I did the first test I'm going to see it through." He expressed that he was "quite concerned" (and when I write that I mean it in a good way - that he is taking this very seriously and determined to get to the bottom of it). Apparently whatever is going on with David's heart is quite unusual and they just don't have a clear idea of what is happening, so he is just going to keep running tests until they do. We continue to be so thankful for the persistence of the doctors who have been working with David in trying to determine what is happening. (An update to this is that a friend who is a nurse came by this morning and said this was the cardiologist her husband had, and she said that he is really good and will pursue this all the way, so that encourages us even more.)
The cardiologist said that if heart surgery needs to be done it will happen in a couple of months and that David needs to regain strength before going through surgery.
Because of the hole in his heart the doctor asked him if he had ever been diagnosed with a heart murmur. David has not, and this doctor said he did not hear a murmur either and thought that was strange.
David rested very well last night. The headache is coming better and better under control, and he has learned some tricks from the PT and nurses about how to adjust his position in bed (e.g. to slip his right foot under his left leg in order to move it), so he is able to make himself more comfortable on his own, which is a tremendous blessing to him.
We appreciate your continued prayers so much. Right now our major focus is the desire that these tests will point to something conclusive and that whatever the case is that there will be able to be appropriate medical intervention that will fully correct it. On a less serious note, I would like to request prayer that I will have strength and wellness. I woke up this morning with a pretty bad sore throat - would really like that to go away so I can do what I need to do for my family and so that I don't pass anything on to David.
Monday, November 05, 2007
David update Monday Night
I just returned from my evening visit with David and want to share my "rainbow experience" - sunshine and rain - tears of joy and tears of sorrow mixed.
Tonight for the first time I got to see David up and using a walker. The nurse supported him on one side, and I supported him on the other. David went about 15 feet and then turned around and came back.
It was so fantastic to see him up - hence the tears of joy! He is really making progress! It was also hard to SEE the reality of his weakness.
While he is in bed it is less evident because his right and left legs look the same, and his right and left arm look the same, so it LOOKS like he can use them both. Seeing him using a walker and working so hard to walk a round trip of 30 feet with two people supporting him really makes his weakness evident - hence the tears of sorrow.
Four days ago he went out and ran 3 miles - one of his shorter days on his marathon training schedule. I can't help but make the comparison between where he was so few days ago and where he is now, but he is taking it totally in stride :-)
(and he would appreciate that pun)
I have still not heard a single word of complaint or of worry. He is a strong man in every sense of the word. I know he will strive as hard at physical therapy as he had been with his marathon training - a shift in level but not in expenditure of effort! And I'm sure his hard work will pay off.
No further testing was able to be done today, so we are hoping he will get in for those early tomorrow morning and that we will have more significant news about what caused this and (hopefully) how to prevent it in the future.
I'd been doing SO well, but I really hit the wall today. I'm feeling a bit like I have a cold coming on - achy, sore-throatish, and I'm very tired. I think even when I am sleeping I continue to remain alert. I just can't get to a point where I'm rested at all. I think a big part of my difficulty today was because it was our first weekday. The reality of needing to keep up with life hit home. I realized I have not prepared to teach tomorrow. I feel like I've been in a different universe for the last few days, and now I have to turn my focus back to certain responsibilities.
Just as David ran 3 miles last Thursday and took that for granted as easy, I went to work last Thursday and took it for granted as easy. It looks a little daunting right now - my focus is so divided. I'm sure once a few more days have passed and the boys and I get used to a new "normal" that we too will hit our stride.
Ongoing thanks for all the support and love you are showering us with in so many ways! We feel so cared for!
Here are some of my favorite pictures of David. They are the ones I have up on my dresser, because being a Daddy is so much of who he is. (Can you tell which boy is which?)
Tonight for the first time I got to see David up and using a walker. The nurse supported him on one side, and I supported him on the other. David went about 15 feet and then turned around and came back.
It was so fantastic to see him up - hence the tears of joy! He is really making progress! It was also hard to SEE the reality of his weakness.
While he is in bed it is less evident because his right and left legs look the same, and his right and left arm look the same, so it LOOKS like he can use them both. Seeing him using a walker and working so hard to walk a round trip of 30 feet with two people supporting him really makes his weakness evident - hence the tears of sorrow.
Four days ago he went out and ran 3 miles - one of his shorter days on his marathon training schedule. I can't help but make the comparison between where he was so few days ago and where he is now, but he is taking it totally in stride :-)
(and he would appreciate that pun)
I have still not heard a single word of complaint or of worry. He is a strong man in every sense of the word. I know he will strive as hard at physical therapy as he had been with his marathon training - a shift in level but not in expenditure of effort! And I'm sure his hard work will pay off.
No further testing was able to be done today, so we are hoping he will get in for those early tomorrow morning and that we will have more significant news about what caused this and (hopefully) how to prevent it in the future.
I'd been doing SO well, but I really hit the wall today. I'm feeling a bit like I have a cold coming on - achy, sore-throatish, and I'm very tired. I think even when I am sleeping I continue to remain alert. I just can't get to a point where I'm rested at all. I think a big part of my difficulty today was because it was our first weekday. The reality of needing to keep up with life hit home. I realized I have not prepared to teach tomorrow. I feel like I've been in a different universe for the last few days, and now I have to turn my focus back to certain responsibilities.
Just as David ran 3 miles last Thursday and took that for granted as easy, I went to work last Thursday and took it for granted as easy. It looks a little daunting right now - my focus is so divided. I'm sure once a few more days have passed and the boys and I get used to a new "normal" that we too will hit our stride.
Ongoing thanks for all the support and love you are showering us with in so many ways! We feel so cared for!
Here are some of my favorite pictures of David. They are the ones I have up on my dresser, because being a Daddy is so much of who he is. (Can you tell which boy is which?)
post-test update
- real quick:
David made it through the test with no discomfort. Yea!
The test results were not what we were hoping for. They do show a small hole between chambers in his heart, but apparently they had seen that back in January and don't consider it to be the source of the problem. They did find that the right side of his heart is enlarged, and it should not be in a person his age. They don't have an explanation for it.
Because of the results they are scheduling him for more testing this afternoon - an external echo - and at some point a cardiac CT scan to check the arteries around his heart.
David made it through the test with no discomfort. Yea!
The test results were not what we were hoping for. They do show a small hole between chambers in his heart, but apparently they had seen that back in January and don't consider it to be the source of the problem. They did find that the right side of his heart is enlarged, and it should not be in a person his age. They don't have an explanation for it.
Because of the results they are scheduling him for more testing this afternoon - an external echo - and at some point a cardiac CT scan to check the arteries around his heart.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Sunday night update
Q&A:
1) Many have asked about visiting, and I hadn't known what to say. David enjoys visits so much, yet he has struggled with a constant headache for more than 36 hours, which has also triggered nausea, so he feels pretty icky and tired from that (all of which he hides pretty well). I saw him late tonight and asked him what would be best for him. He told me how uplifting the visits have been and that while people are there he is so distracted from his headache that he feels free of it. Also, as of this evening he is being given a more powerful medication for his headache, and it is doing the job better without making him groggy - with the headache under control, so is the nausea. So please do visit! He has really felt encouraged and surrounded by love and has had his spirit lifted through the visits of loving friends and family and pastors.
2) I've had questions about how the boys are doing. So far so good - in fact, better than good. David and I were both worried early on (see end of original post), but I think David's positive attitude and sense of humor are helping the boys to know that Dad's still Dad and has just suffered a setback and will be back to his regular old self as time goes by. Their trust in God is strong, and I think it is growing through this experience. They too know the support is there from friends and family just as David and I do, and I think they are able to rest in that (even if they wouldn't be able to put it in those words). They are so happy to see Grandma!! Caleb sure thought it was cool to get to spend the day with Uncle Tim Saturday. Our routine is changing daily as we find our way in a new pattern (wow - hard to believe it hasn't even been 72 hours yet - almost seems like a few months since Friday morning!), but they are rolling with the punches and rising to the occasion.
3) I've been asked how I'm doing - actually shockingly well - so well that I'm almost worried that I'm not doing worse (if that makes sense). To some degree it still doesn't seem entirely real, and I think that helps. I am tired. I'm having trouble sleeping, and that makes it hard; I want to be rested and strong for David and the boys. I'm not kept awake so much by worry as just by having a sense of needing to be alert I guess - alert for what I'm not sure, a change in David? A need my kids have that I don't anticipate? I find it's almost like my brain has been rewired, though. I CANNOT think more than one day ahead, and that is so not like me. I'm always planned FAR in advance. My mom asked me last night what plans were for dinner Wednesday, and it seemed like she had asked what the weather forecast was for planet Jupiter or something. Wednesday seems that far away. Tomorrow we begin our first school week with all its routines, and I think it's going to take a couple of days to get a feel for it, but I am confident it will come together well.
I need to add to that: I would NOT be doing well at all were I not surrounded by such love and support from so many. There is no way I could handle this alone, no way. I would be falling apart entirely.
As to prayer, right now we are giving thanks for new medication that is giving David relief from that persistent headache and nausea, and, as he anticipates having the internal echocardiogram tomorrow (for which he will be fully sedated) we pray that will go well and that it will give answers as to what has caused David's stroke and also his TIA earlier in the year - and information as to how to prevent this from happening again in the future.
1) Many have asked about visiting, and I hadn't known what to say. David enjoys visits so much, yet he has struggled with a constant headache for more than 36 hours, which has also triggered nausea, so he feels pretty icky and tired from that (all of which he hides pretty well). I saw him late tonight and asked him what would be best for him. He told me how uplifting the visits have been and that while people are there he is so distracted from his headache that he feels free of it. Also, as of this evening he is being given a more powerful medication for his headache, and it is doing the job better without making him groggy - with the headache under control, so is the nausea. So please do visit! He has really felt encouraged and surrounded by love and has had his spirit lifted through the visits of loving friends and family and pastors.
2) I've had questions about how the boys are doing. So far so good - in fact, better than good. David and I were both worried early on (see end of original post), but I think David's positive attitude and sense of humor are helping the boys to know that Dad's still Dad and has just suffered a setback and will be back to his regular old self as time goes by. Their trust in God is strong, and I think it is growing through this experience. They too know the support is there from friends and family just as David and I do, and I think they are able to rest in that (even if they wouldn't be able to put it in those words). They are so happy to see Grandma!! Caleb sure thought it was cool to get to spend the day with Uncle Tim Saturday. Our routine is changing daily as we find our way in a new pattern (wow - hard to believe it hasn't even been 72 hours yet - almost seems like a few months since Friday morning!), but they are rolling with the punches and rising to the occasion.
3) I've been asked how I'm doing - actually shockingly well - so well that I'm almost worried that I'm not doing worse (if that makes sense). To some degree it still doesn't seem entirely real, and I think that helps. I am tired. I'm having trouble sleeping, and that makes it hard; I want to be rested and strong for David and the boys. I'm not kept awake so much by worry as just by having a sense of needing to be alert I guess - alert for what I'm not sure, a change in David? A need my kids have that I don't anticipate? I find it's almost like my brain has been rewired, though. I CANNOT think more than one day ahead, and that is so not like me. I'm always planned FAR in advance. My mom asked me last night what plans were for dinner Wednesday, and it seemed like she had asked what the weather forecast was for planet Jupiter or something. Wednesday seems that far away. Tomorrow we begin our first school week with all its routines, and I think it's going to take a couple of days to get a feel for it, but I am confident it will come together well.
I need to add to that: I would NOT be doing well at all were I not surrounded by such love and support from so many. There is no way I could handle this alone, no way. I would be falling apart entirely.
As to prayer, right now we are giving thanks for new medication that is giving David relief from that persistent headache and nausea, and, as he anticipates having the internal echocardiogram tomorrow (for which he will be fully sedated) we pray that will go well and that it will give answers as to what has caused David's stroke and also his TIA earlier in the year - and information as to how to prevent this from happening again in the future.
PS I have a few favorite pictures of David I hope to put up tomorrow with my update. I've been reflecting on how significantly life has changed so quickly. Two weeks ago we were hiking as a family at our favorite spot in the foothills (see pictures). We enjoyed the day but had no idea how special it was; it was easy to take for granted. Although we are confident we will hike together again like that we don't yet know when. That's a rather strange sensation.
David update Sunday morning
Mom arrived safely. It is SO good to have her here. I'm so grateful, and I know it was good for both her and David to get to SEE each other.
David is looking much better this morning than he did last night. Apparently the headache and nausea he was experiencing is to be expected as blood flow returns and the brain experiences some element of swelling. He still has the headache, but they are better able to manage it for him today than they were last night.
He was moved out of ICU this morning. He has a private room.
We have recognized another thing to add to our list of blessings and that is that the stroke occurred in a place in the brain that did not affect his personality or cognition. He is so himself - so positive - taking it all in stride. This would be so much harder were he not able to be who he is.
He is gaining more ability to move. He still cannot tell what movement he is making if he is not looking at his limb, but he can now almost touch his hand to his face, and he was nowhere near being able to do that last night. So we are encouraged by the progress.
We are also encouraged that this is being pursued so aggressively. Tomorrow he will have that internal echocardiogram, and if that does not show enough for them to discern the cause they will send him to the Bay Area (UCSF?) to have more extensive testing done.
We are so thankful for all the love that has been and is being showed to us and for all the prayers being lifted up. We feel so supported!
David is looking much better this morning than he did last night. Apparently the headache and nausea he was experiencing is to be expected as blood flow returns and the brain experiences some element of swelling. He still has the headache, but they are better able to manage it for him today than they were last night.
He was moved out of ICU this morning. He has a private room.
We have recognized another thing to add to our list of blessings and that is that the stroke occurred in a place in the brain that did not affect his personality or cognition. He is so himself - so positive - taking it all in stride. This would be so much harder were he not able to be who he is.
He is gaining more ability to move. He still cannot tell what movement he is making if he is not looking at his limb, but he can now almost touch his hand to his face, and he was nowhere near being able to do that last night. So we are encouraged by the progress.
We are also encouraged that this is being pursued so aggressively. Tomorrow he will have that internal echocardiogram, and if that does not show enough for them to discern the cause they will send him to the Bay Area (UCSF?) to have more extensive testing done.
We are so thankful for all the love that has been and is being showed to us and for all the prayers being lifted up. We feel so supported!
David
Wow. I don't know what to say about today.
It feels like a year instead of a day. When the nurse and I mentioned David's "fall" as having taken place yesterday, he said, "It was only yesterday?"
I'm not even sure how to report on him today.
Last night - the end of day one - we had seen improvement that, although I didn't dare let myself THINK it, my heart was FEELING I would walk in today and find him on his feet ready to go home (yeah, silly, I know). I found him this morning to be no better, but also no worse - still in very good spiritis, looking bright-eyed.
By late afternoon he was sluggish and slower of speech - just seemed really tired. He looked like a totally different person from whom I had seen that morning. He was also complaining of a headache - which scared me. I guess people who've had a stroke can have a headache that is just a normal headache like anybody else, but I couldn't help but be concerned, especially since he looked so worn out and so different from the morning.
I'd been chalking it up since then as exhaustion finally catching up with him.
When I went in early evening he was doing the same but told me the physical therapist had been in and had him up using a walker. I don't know what that means since David is unable to even shift his position in bed when he is uncomfortable. I said, "How could they have you up with a walker when you can't move your hip?" He said, "I don't know. He just forced me to, and I did it."
This I've gotta see!
That was really good news.
When I got there later tonight to say goodnight, however, his headache was still there and worse. He'd been struggling with nausea and vomiting - and went through a rough bout with that again while I was there.
I was able to stay and help the nurses get him cleaned up, which was good for me to be able to DO something and to show David my love in that way.
He brought up his dad again at that point and said this was all making him think a lot about Dad.
I can't help but remain concerned about this prolonged headache and nausea, but he was looking quite a bit better when I left, after having a bit of general washing up too.
He had a number of MRI/MRA's run today. The tests show that the clot/damage is on the right side towards the front. They are going to run more tests to try to discover the cause of the clotting. The tests I know about specifically are having to do with his heart. I don't remember the proper terms - the first one is a sort of internal echocardiogram using a device inserted in his esophagus (I think I have that right) - they may also take a somewhat more invasive look.
They are postulating right now that his heart is "throwing off" clots, perhaps because of a hole between chambers of the heart that did not close up after birth.
As of earlier today the best case scenario we were given was that he would be in the hospital for 2 to 3 more days and then come home (and have ongoing physical therapy). If not, then he would be in the hospital for 2 to 3 more days and then be sent to a rehab facility. He was supposed to have been moved out of ICU today, but there was no bed available in the part of the hospital they need to move him to. However, with the prolonged headache and other things he was experiencing tonight, his nurse expressed that she is very glad he is still in ICU and had not been moved. Perhaps that was Providence.
What words are there to express the gratitude we feel for friends and family who are pouring love and prayers over us? As some can attest, I am having a hard time accepting help. It's so overwhelming to me what is being done for us.
It's been an amazing experience to be ministered to by people who have also been through something where their life has turned entirely upside down - so, not only are they helping tangibly but are also teaching me to even know what it is that we need and reminding me that in allowing them to help us that not only are we being blessed, but it allows them to be blessed too.
I guess part of why it is still hard is that - as many words as I've written - it still doesn't feel real, so I feel like having people help is like playing some kind of crazy game. David is never sick. He's always been so strong. Up to Thursday night he was on a regular marathon training regimine. It seems more like a "test of the emergency broadcast system" or something. It doesn't yet seem fully real.
Oh, I can't sign off without writing about the miracle that occured. Family in MI, though so far away in space, has been talking together and planning how to help. I got a call from brother Tony tonight that Mom will be hear before noon tomorrow. I can't believe it! Not only that but she is flying from Grand Rapids right into our small town airport - and that that - rather than GR to San Francisco or something more major was the most inexpensive flight. Thank you so much, family for making that possible.
David is so eager to see you, Mom!
As Dad would say, and as Pastor Glenn has reminded us: God is good. God is good all the time. All the time, God is good.
It feels like a year instead of a day. When the nurse and I mentioned David's "fall" as having taken place yesterday, he said, "It was only yesterday?"
I'm not even sure how to report on him today.
Last night - the end of day one - we had seen improvement that, although I didn't dare let myself THINK it, my heart was FEELING I would walk in today and find him on his feet ready to go home (yeah, silly, I know). I found him this morning to be no better, but also no worse - still in very good spiritis, looking bright-eyed.
By late afternoon he was sluggish and slower of speech - just seemed really tired. He looked like a totally different person from whom I had seen that morning. He was also complaining of a headache - which scared me. I guess people who've had a stroke can have a headache that is just a normal headache like anybody else, but I couldn't help but be concerned, especially since he looked so worn out and so different from the morning.
I'd been chalking it up since then as exhaustion finally catching up with him.
When I went in early evening he was doing the same but told me the physical therapist had been in and had him up using a walker. I don't know what that means since David is unable to even shift his position in bed when he is uncomfortable. I said, "How could they have you up with a walker when you can't move your hip?" He said, "I don't know. He just forced me to, and I did it."
This I've gotta see!
That was really good news.
When I got there later tonight to say goodnight, however, his headache was still there and worse. He'd been struggling with nausea and vomiting - and went through a rough bout with that again while I was there.
I was able to stay and help the nurses get him cleaned up, which was good for me to be able to DO something and to show David my love in that way.
He brought up his dad again at that point and said this was all making him think a lot about Dad.
I can't help but remain concerned about this prolonged headache and nausea, but he was looking quite a bit better when I left, after having a bit of general washing up too.
He had a number of MRI/MRA's run today. The tests show that the clot/damage is on the right side towards the front. They are going to run more tests to try to discover the cause of the clotting. The tests I know about specifically are having to do with his heart. I don't remember the proper terms - the first one is a sort of internal echocardiogram using a device inserted in his esophagus (I think I have that right) - they may also take a somewhat more invasive look.
They are postulating right now that his heart is "throwing off" clots, perhaps because of a hole between chambers of the heart that did not close up after birth.
As of earlier today the best case scenario we were given was that he would be in the hospital for 2 to 3 more days and then come home (and have ongoing physical therapy). If not, then he would be in the hospital for 2 to 3 more days and then be sent to a rehab facility. He was supposed to have been moved out of ICU today, but there was no bed available in the part of the hospital they need to move him to. However, with the prolonged headache and other things he was experiencing tonight, his nurse expressed that she is very glad he is still in ICU and had not been moved. Perhaps that was Providence.
What words are there to express the gratitude we feel for friends and family who are pouring love and prayers over us? As some can attest, I am having a hard time accepting help. It's so overwhelming to me what is being done for us.
It's been an amazing experience to be ministered to by people who have also been through something where their life has turned entirely upside down - so, not only are they helping tangibly but are also teaching me to even know what it is that we need and reminding me that in allowing them to help us that not only are we being blessed, but it allows them to be blessed too.
I guess part of why it is still hard is that - as many words as I've written - it still doesn't feel real, so I feel like having people help is like playing some kind of crazy game. David is never sick. He's always been so strong. Up to Thursday night he was on a regular marathon training regimine. It seems more like a "test of the emergency broadcast system" or something. It doesn't yet seem fully real.
Oh, I can't sign off without writing about the miracle that occured. Family in MI, though so far away in space, has been talking together and planning how to help. I got a call from brother Tony tonight that Mom will be hear before noon tomorrow. I can't believe it! Not only that but she is flying from Grand Rapids right into our small town airport - and that that - rather than GR to San Francisco or something more major was the most inexpensive flight. Thank you so much, family for making that possible.
David is so eager to see you, Mom!
As Dad would say, and as Pastor Glenn has reminded us: God is good. God is good all the time. All the time, God is good.
Friday, November 02, 2007
Update on David
I just got back from the hospital where David remains in ICU so that they can monitor him closely because of the clot dissolving drug tPA that they administered this morning. The plan is to move him to a regular hospital room tomorrow.
SHORT VERSION:
He is showing progress - more and more each time I see him today.
The boys are doing well.
LONG VERSION:
We are so thankful for all the prayers being said for him and for us, and we are so thankful for our family and friends who have been and continue to be supportive in so many tangible ways. We are overwhelmed by the outpouring of support and the offers of help.
I think I'm still in too much shock tonight to be looking ahead more than one day, so I'm in the strange position of not knowing what to ask for, although I'm sure we will need some help, I just don't know what it is yet. We have the wonderful news that David is showing progress, but we have no idea what recovery will look like as time goes by. Right now I find I can't think beyond tomorrow in terms of what has to happen at home and with and for the boys. It seems piano lessons, soccer, school, teaching and grad work are all part of another universe that is very, very distant - and yet next week we'll have to figure out how to manage.
Although he remains numb on his entire left side (head, chest, arm, leg), he is now able to move his fingers and hand and raise his arm from the elbow. He can also move his foot and has some control of his knee. He still cannot move using his shoulder or hip, and the movement he can do is somewhat labored - for instance, I see his right hand doing what he is trying to get his left hand to do, as if he has to use the one to figure out how to do the other. Also, when he tries to move his left leg, his left arm and hand begin to move too because he's working so hard to get his left side to do something; somehow it seems he can't distinguish between arm and leg when he tries to use his leg.
He just really doesn't have the ability to make those limbs do what he wants them to do with any ease at all. However, the fact that he IS regaining movement is GREAT, GREAT, GREAT! It was really scary this morning when hours went by and that was not happening at all.
Thank you for your prayers not only for David but for our boys. They are doing so very well. It was really good this afternoon when my parents picked them up after school and brought them to see David - good for them and good for him. David had been particularly concerned about Anthony as Anthony is the one who found him and had to call 9-1-1.
They actually had kind of a funny exchange about it tonight. David was asking Anthony how he was doing and if he had been scared this morning. As they were talking it came out that the first thing David, as he lay on the floor, said to Anthony was, "I fell down."
Um . . . reasonably obvious.
They both had a good laugh over that tonight.
Anthony admitted being scared, so it was good they were able to laugh together tonight. David was lying on his left side when he fell, and he could feel something furry with his right foot. When he asked Anthony what it was, Anthony said, "That's your leg, Dad." Anthony said that was pretty much when he knew something was really not OK with Dad. They both laughed together over that too.
David is in good spirits and very positive - his normal self in that way.
When I wrote earlier today I said he had no risk factors - and he doesn't in terms of lifestyle or age or family history. He did have a TIA earlier this year (his first and only), which was also very scary, but so different from this that I didn't even think of it when I wrote earlier.
They ran a number of tests today. We don't really know anything about prognosis or course of recovery (I'm sure glad to be using that word, though! There were periods of time this morning where I hadn't been so sure that I was going to get to use it! - nor was David so sure - he spoke of thinking that he was going to be visiting his Dad today. His dad passed away 3 years ago this past Sunday). Tomorrow they will run an MRI and an MRA, which is an MRI with dye in the veins to see what is happening with brain flow in the brain. Hopefully we will know much more at that point.
I know I'm going on and on, but I want to share a really cool story before signing off.
This morning, when David had been in ER for 2 or 3 hours, Pastor Glenn showed up and prayed with David. Just after that prayer the nurse came in and did another check to see if he could squeeze her hand. It was the first time all morning he had been able to do so. His leg remained entirely paralyzed, however. Later in the day, Pastor Wen and his wife Dawn came to visit. That was just before 1pm. They also prayed with him, and just moments after they left the room, David's foot, which he had not been able to move for 7 hours, wiggled.
What wonderful answers to prayer!
SHORT VERSION:
He is showing progress - more and more each time I see him today.
The boys are doing well.
LONG VERSION:
We are so thankful for all the prayers being said for him and for us, and we are so thankful for our family and friends who have been and continue to be supportive in so many tangible ways. We are overwhelmed by the outpouring of support and the offers of help.
I think I'm still in too much shock tonight to be looking ahead more than one day, so I'm in the strange position of not knowing what to ask for, although I'm sure we will need some help, I just don't know what it is yet. We have the wonderful news that David is showing progress, but we have no idea what recovery will look like as time goes by. Right now I find I can't think beyond tomorrow in terms of what has to happen at home and with and for the boys. It seems piano lessons, soccer, school, teaching and grad work are all part of another universe that is very, very distant - and yet next week we'll have to figure out how to manage.
Although he remains numb on his entire left side (head, chest, arm, leg), he is now able to move his fingers and hand and raise his arm from the elbow. He can also move his foot and has some control of his knee. He still cannot move using his shoulder or hip, and the movement he can do is somewhat labored - for instance, I see his right hand doing what he is trying to get his left hand to do, as if he has to use the one to figure out how to do the other. Also, when he tries to move his left leg, his left arm and hand begin to move too because he's working so hard to get his left side to do something; somehow it seems he can't distinguish between arm and leg when he tries to use his leg.
He just really doesn't have the ability to make those limbs do what he wants them to do with any ease at all. However, the fact that he IS regaining movement is GREAT, GREAT, GREAT! It was really scary this morning when hours went by and that was not happening at all.
Thank you for your prayers not only for David but for our boys. They are doing so very well. It was really good this afternoon when my parents picked them up after school and brought them to see David - good for them and good for him. David had been particularly concerned about Anthony as Anthony is the one who found him and had to call 9-1-1.
They actually had kind of a funny exchange about it tonight. David was asking Anthony how he was doing and if he had been scared this morning. As they were talking it came out that the first thing David, as he lay on the floor, said to Anthony was, "I fell down."
Um . . . reasonably obvious.
They both had a good laugh over that tonight.
Anthony admitted being scared, so it was good they were able to laugh together tonight. David was lying on his left side when he fell, and he could feel something furry with his right foot. When he asked Anthony what it was, Anthony said, "That's your leg, Dad." Anthony said that was pretty much when he knew something was really not OK with Dad. They both laughed together over that too.
David is in good spirits and very positive - his normal self in that way.
When I wrote earlier today I said he had no risk factors - and he doesn't in terms of lifestyle or age or family history. He did have a TIA earlier this year (his first and only), which was also very scary, but so different from this that I didn't even think of it when I wrote earlier.
They ran a number of tests today. We don't really know anything about prognosis or course of recovery (I'm sure glad to be using that word, though! There were periods of time this morning where I hadn't been so sure that I was going to get to use it! - nor was David so sure - he spoke of thinking that he was going to be visiting his Dad today. His dad passed away 3 years ago this past Sunday). Tomorrow they will run an MRI and an MRA, which is an MRI with dye in the veins to see what is happening with brain flow in the brain. Hopefully we will know much more at that point.
I know I'm going on and on, but I want to share a really cool story before signing off.
This morning, when David had been in ER for 2 or 3 hours, Pastor Glenn showed up and prayed with David. Just after that prayer the nurse came in and did another check to see if he could squeeze her hand. It was the first time all morning he had been able to do so. His leg remained entirely paralyzed, however. Later in the day, Pastor Wen and his wife Dawn came to visit. That was just before 1pm. They also prayed with him, and just moments after they left the room, David's foot, which he had not been able to move for 7 hours, wiggled.
What wonderful answers to prayer!
Please, Please Pray
This is the best way I know to get word out to as many people as know me/us as possible. My husband David had a stroke this morning. His left leg has remained paralyzed for the last 6 hours. His left arm is also paralyzed, although he can now squeeze the nurses' hand with his on command - although still can't tell he's doing it - can't move his wrist, arm or shoulder or feel his left side.He is only 42 years old and has no risk factors for a stroke - no high blook pressure, no smoking, no high cholesterol - in fact, he's been training for a marathon and recently ran 17 miles. This is just very shocking to have had this happen - and very concerning.
He is lucid and in good spirits. He has retained his unique sense of humor. He's very much himself. He is able to talk - although after arriving at the hospital there were periods of time where he was slurring his words so badly he was almost incomprehensible.
This feels really strange to be sitting here writing this, but I need to ask for prayer. I also need to let him rest. He has been tested and talked to and generally been unable to be allowed to rest for 6 hours, so I needed to come home - let him rest (with me not hovering) - and let people know - and ask for prayer.
Please pray for our kids. David had no warning - just passed out. Our 15 year old Anthony found him and called 911. The ambulance came, and I left, and the kids with the help of my mom got ready and left for school. I can only imagine how hard this is for them - trying to get through their day and not knowing.
Thank you for your prayers.
(Click to see updates.)
The pictures I have up are from earlier this summer when we celebrated our 20th anniversary.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
EARTHQUAKE!
Last night our house became an amusement park ride, although the ride was so short it was over almost before we realized it had begun.
Having grown up in California, I noticed the jolt for what it was. To David it felt like he was getting dizzy; it was over before he realized what it was, but we got to savor the aftermath as the kitchen light kept swinging. The kids came into the kitchen and said, "What was that?"
I hear people say they wouldn't live in California because of all the earthquakes - because California is going to fall into the ocean. Well, my children have lived here all their lives but had not yet felt an earthquake and had to ask what it was, AND, for those worried about the whole California into the ocean thing - yeah, could happen, but no sooner than 20 million years from now. (Although maybe rather than debunking that misconception I should let it stand as a way of trying to keep California from becoming more crowded than it already is.)
Coincidentally one of my colleagues who is in the geology department was teaching about earthquakes last night when this occured. Typically when an earthquake occurs people run OUT of buildings; his students were outside on break and ran back INTO the building to check out the seismograph. Now that's an effective class demonstration!!!.)
Having grown up in California, I noticed the jolt for what it was. To David it felt like he was getting dizzy; it was over before he realized what it was, but we got to savor the aftermath as the kitchen light kept swinging. The kids came into the kitchen and said, "What was that?"
I hear people say they wouldn't live in California because of all the earthquakes - because California is going to fall into the ocean. Well, my children have lived here all their lives but had not yet felt an earthquake and had to ask what it was, AND, for those worried about the whole California into the ocean thing - yeah, could happen, but no sooner than 20 million years from now. (Although maybe rather than debunking that misconception I should let it stand as a way of trying to keep California from becoming more crowded than it already is.)
Coincidentally one of my colleagues who is in the geology department was teaching about earthquakes last night when this occured. Typically when an earthquake occurs people run OUT of buildings; his students were outside on break and ran back INTO the building to check out the seismograph. Now that's an effective class demonstration!!!.)
POST SCRIPT: I pulled in to work right next to him the next day, and he invited me to see the recording on the seismograph - COOL!
Monday, October 29, 2007
FBI, CIA, KGB, GPB(?!)
After the The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks came to my attention recently, I found myself stumbling into a huge blogging subculture of grammar policing. It was sort of like coming across FBI or CIA agents at work.
WARNING! If you misuse your apostrophies, use a lowercase L in a sign that otherwise includes all uppercase letters, destroy words by misuse or overuse, or otherwise thrash the convetions of grammar, this is your warning. LOOKOUT! The Grammar Police Bloggers (GPB) will certainly catch you! They are everywhere!
Here are some of their "reports."
Apostrophe Abuse
Apostrophism
lowercase L
Why a Tittle?
Literally, A Web Log
Banterist
ClEARlY this is a major problem, "as" witnes'sed by the fact that i "LiTERAllY" find these blog's updated FREQUETlY.
WARNING! If you misuse your apostrophies, use a lowercase L in a sign that otherwise includes all uppercase letters, destroy words by misuse or overuse, or otherwise thrash the convetions of grammar, this is your warning. LOOKOUT! The Grammar Police Bloggers (GPB) will certainly catch you! They are everywhere!
Here are some of their "reports."
Apostrophe Abuse
Apostrophism
lowercase L
Why a Tittle?
Literally, A Web Log
Banterist
ClEARlY this is a major problem, "as" witnes'sed by the fact that i "LiTERAllY" find these blog's updated FREQUETlY.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Quote for Thought (8)
To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best night
and day to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest
battle any human being can fight and never stop fighting.
-- E. E. Cummings (1894-1962)
and day to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest
battle any human being can fight and never stop fighting.
-- E. E. Cummings (1894-1962)
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Time Out!(doors)
In the midst of a busy fall, we found we needed a "time-out." It was so good for all of us to get away from the paperwork and housework and reconnect with the great outdoors! To do this we went to one of our favorite places which we love for its natural beauty and history (connected with the mid-1800's California Goldrush). 
FAMILY
HISTORIC SITES
NATURE
Friday, October 19, 2007
Pregnant Pirates
I used to hear talk of a "paperless society" -- easier on the forests, you know.
Well, whatever my motivation, I've bought into electronic vs. paper -- so much so that while I find my WPM has increased dramatically I'm afraid the muscles used for handwriting have atrophied. Recently I have felt paranoid when using my credit card -- afraid the cashier is going to ask to see my ID again when he notices what trouble I have writing my own signature!
For me EVERYTHING goes on the computer now. Memos I would have scribbled on scraps of paper in the past I now just type right into whatever document I have open as soon as a thought comes to me -- to be transfered elsewhere later.
This has had some interesting consequences.
Once, while typing a worksheet for my students, I heard some interesting information on the radio. At that time I was studying to be on Jeopardy and was recording and soaking up every bit of trivia possible. I had no paper handy, so I typed onto the handout:
Although many students were laughing some students later admitted that at first they were quite distressed by that sentence, because, having no idea what pregnant pirates had to do with Pre-algebra, they assumed this was a really difficult trick question.
Once I overcame the embarrassment of my mistake it was actually kind of fun explaining to them what had happened and why.
I'm sure it would have felt less fun, however, had my memo been a shopping list of personal items!
If you, like I, "scribble" memos-to-self on computer documents, always be sure to proof-read your work before printing and putting it in someone else's hands!! Otherwise the results might be a little more interesting than you would like!
Well, whatever my motivation, I've bought into electronic vs. paper -- so much so that while I find my WPM has increased dramatically I'm afraid the muscles used for handwriting have atrophied. Recently I have felt paranoid when using my credit card -- afraid the cashier is going to ask to see my ID again when he notices what trouble I have writing my own signature!
For me EVERYTHING goes on the computer now. Memos I would have scribbled on scraps of paper in the past I now just type right into whatever document I have open as soon as a thought comes to me -- to be transfered elsewhere later.
This has had some interesting consequences.
Once, while typing a worksheet for my students, I heard some interesting information on the radio. At that time I was studying to be on Jeopardy and was recording and soaking up every bit of trivia possible. I had no paper handy, so I typed onto the handout:
"Anne Bonney and Mary Read were sentenced to be hung as pirates, but when it was found that they were pregnant they were spared."A week later my students were working quietly on this handout when suddenly half the class burst out laughing. I immediately realized I had forgotten to cut and paste to another document. I turned bright red.
Although many students were laughing some students later admitted that at first they were quite distressed by that sentence, because, having no idea what pregnant pirates had to do with Pre-algebra, they assumed this was a really difficult trick question.
Once I overcame the embarrassment of my mistake it was actually kind of fun explaining to them what had happened and why.
I'm sure it would have felt less fun, however, had my memo been a shopping list of personal items!
If you, like I, "scribble" memos-to-self on computer documents, always be sure to proof-read your work before printing and putting it in someone else's hands!! Otherwise the results might be a little more interesting than you would like!
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Quote for Thought (7)
“If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?”
T. S. Eliot (1888-1965)
T. S. Eliot (1888-1965)
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Grammar "Police" Humor
I was going to blog at length about how everything teaching and study related in my life all came crashing in on the same week and how I'm sitting here blogging as I try to prioritize where to begin today (things along the lines of: "Do I first study for my own midterm or grade the one I just gave my students?"), but then I decided I (and probably you as well) could much better benefit from a LAUGH.
Does other peoples' improper use of grammar drive you crazy?
Are you a member of the grammar police?
Whether you are "grammatically correct" or not, you'll probably find The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks funny. Click on the title to be redirected to some grammatical humor.
Have a "good" day (and I "really" mean that)!
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Switcheroo
I had already posted a quote today, but I just realized it is e. e. cummings' birthday, so I think a post of one of his poems is more appropriate. I'll put the quote back up on another day.
In thinking of his life and work I'm reminded of lines that have captured me having to do with life and death - in a poem that has to do with really living while alive. He says that life is not a paragraph and death is no parenthesis. Notice the singular tense; usually parentheses come in pairs. Not so of life, he says. If we think of birth as the opening parenthesis that begins our "phrase" of life:
In thinking of his life and work I'm reminded of lines that have captured me having to do with life and death - in a poem that has to do with really living while alive. He says that life is not a paragraph and death is no parenthesis. Notice the singular tense; usually parentheses come in pairs. Not so of life, he says. If we think of birth as the opening parenthesis that begins our "phrase" of life:
(
it is a phrase that is not closed off. Death does not close the "phrase." We begin, but we do not end. So here's to you ee!! May your spirit and your work live on!
SINCE FEELING IS FIRST
since feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you;
wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world
my blood approves,
and kisses are a better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry
-- the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids' flutter which says
we are for each other:then
laugh,leaning back in my arms
for life's not a paragraph
And death i think is no parenthesis
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Let Fall No Leaf
This is my favorite time of year - a time when late summer flowers are still blossoming and leaves are changing but have not yet fallen - maximum color! This picture doesn't do it justice (clicking to enlarge may help a bit), but yesterday during the first rain of the season, which augmented the color, I sat on my back patio and enjoyed the purple of the hibiscus, the red of the lilies, the yellow of the roses, and the multihues of leaves just beginning to turn.
O world, I cannot hold thee close enough!
Thy winds, thy wide grey skies!
Thy mists, that roll and rise!
Thy woods, this autumn day, that ache and sag
And all but cry with colour! That gaunt crag
To crush! To lift the lean of that black bluff!
World, World, I cannot get thee close enough!
Long have I known a glory in it all,
But never knew I this:
Here such passion is
As stretcheth me apart, —Lord, I do fear
Thou’st made the world too beautiful this year;
My soul is all but out of me, —let fall
No burning leaf; prithee, let no bird call.
(God's World by Edna St. Vincent Millay 1892-1950)
O world, I cannot hold thee close enough!
Thy winds, thy wide grey skies!
Thy mists, that roll and rise!
Thy woods, this autumn day, that ache and sag
And all but cry with colour! That gaunt crag
To crush! To lift the lean of that black bluff!
World, World, I cannot get thee close enough!
Long have I known a glory in it all,
But never knew I this:
Here such passion is
As stretcheth me apart, —Lord, I do fear
Thou’st made the world too beautiful this year;
My soul is all but out of me, —let fall
No burning leaf; prithee, let no bird call.
(God's World by Edna St. Vincent Millay 1892-1950)
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Are You a Detective?
Would you make a good detective? How much can you tell from this picture? Were the kids behaving well when they were asked to pose? Below are some questions with which to quiz yourself.
Questions:
1) Why is the boy in the front row crossing his arms like that?
2) Might that be a guilty smile on the face of the boy behind him?
3) What kind of crazy plant it that on the right?
4) Where was this picture taken?
5) How about age progression? If you didn't know me as a child, use my blog photo to try to determine which one I am in this picture.
Answers:
1) I'm pretty sure his arms were crossed in self-protection against tickling. That's my brother Tim, and he was known in childhood for how incredibly ticklish he was. There's a reason he was incredibly ticklish. I used to like to make "potions" and do experiments. One day I made "tickle powder." I told him what it was and sprinkled it on him, and he was outrageously ticklish from that time on. Can you say, "placebo effect?"
2) Putting 2 and 2 together, I'm guessing my cousin Danny back there was tickling Tim before the picture. Doesn't that smile look just a bit mischievous to you?
3) That's an avocado. Many years later, having forgotten this, I too grew an avocado - don't know why I did. Maybe it was a genetic pull. It's now become somewhat a part of family tradition.
4) Well, you'd have to be reading my posts AND the comments pretty closely AND click on the image to enlarge it to get this one (unless you're part of the family, of course). On October 8 I wrote about my grandmother's cookbooks, and a comment references where they were - on Grandma's shelves next to the fireplace. Well, if you enlarge the photo by clicking on it, you'll see cookbooks on the shelf. Pretty tough, but I figure there are some intrepid problem solvers out there! Hey, they would have figured it out on any of the crime-solving TV shows that are on these days!!
5) I'm in back in the red pantsuit with a big ol' watch on my arm. This is a picture of a group of grand kids. I'm the oldest grandchild on both sides of my family (which was really cool as a kid but not so cool now as I hit all those milestone birthdays first!! Thirty . . . uh . . . forty . . . uh . . . ).
PS Thanks for your comment on my October 8 post, Paula, which inspired this. I thought I'd put this up so it could be in more than just your mind's eye - and mine too! :-)
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Quote for Thought (6)
"Most people would rather die than think: many do."
-- Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)
-- Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)
Monday, October 08, 2007
Are You Talking to ME?!
"Today is the first day of the rest of your life."That's a pretty common aphorism. We hear it often, and, if we give it some thought, we realize it's true. And then we usually forget about it and move on in the normal way.
For me, today, this is more than just a casual saying.
This is going to be a long story, but I think it's worth it to include the details, so here goes.
A number of years ago I endured a life-changing illness. I regained full health a long time since, but going through a serious illness can and did alter life patterns for me and for my family. Also, we currently find ourselves in a particularly busy season of life as a family, and that is compounded by my own choices of working and going to grad school.
Through all this it's really been quite a task to balance the many facets of life - to find new direction, new footing - and to be fully engaged in each of those facets.
In recent weeks especially I've been playing with different routines and approaches to find the best fit for me and my family.
I have never been much of a cook (and even less so while ill when my husband took over entirely - what a great guy!!). In spite of my lack of skill and interest in cooking, I inherited a couple of cookbooks from one of my grandmothers when she passed away 8 years ago. I treasure them because they were hers, but I've NEVER in EIGHT years actually used them to COOK from. Their purpose has been to sit on the shelf and remind me of Grandma.
In recent weeks especially I've been playing with different routines and approaches to find the best fit for me and my family.
I have never been much of a cook (and even less so while ill when my husband took over entirely - what a great guy!!). In spite of my lack of skill and interest in cooking, I inherited a couple of cookbooks from one of my grandmothers when she passed away 8 years ago. I treasure them because they were hers, but I've NEVER in EIGHT years actually used them to COOK from. Their purpose has been to sit on the shelf and remind me of Grandma.
In my search for new directions I became inspired today to cook!
Let me pause here a moment while those of you who know me personally take a moment to revive yourselves before reading on. I understand if you've passed out or something.
Are you ready to continue?
Anyway, I had beef stew in mind, but when I grabbed the standard red Betty Crocker book, the recipe looked daunting (refered me to ANOTHER page for the recipe for Parsely Dumplings that had to be made first - wait, I have to make ANOTHER recipe BEFORE I make this one??!! Dumplings?! That sounds hard. It also called for parsnips - an item I would not recognize if I saw it and wouldn't know what to do with if I did! I just want to make stew - you know - potatoes and carrots and meat . . .).
So, on a whim, I grabbed Grandma's cookbook off the shelf.
So, on a whim, I grabbed Grandma's cookbook off the shelf.
I opened the front cover and found a label she'd pasted in there - one of those "from the library of" labels, the one at the top of this post. The one that says:
"Today is the first day of the rest of your life."
Not only had she signed her name on it, but she had dated it.
Although the year was 1980, the date was TODAY'S DATE:
OCTOBER 8
Check it out. Scroll back to the top of the post and compare the date of posting to the date on the label. Then somebody cue up the "Twilight Zone" theme song, OK?
Today's date - today - TODAY is the first day of the rest of your life.
Umm . . . whoa . . .
Maybe this is one of those "you had to be there" things, but given all the circumstances surrounding this, that sure caught my attention! I am certainly going to seriously consider today the first day of the rest of my life.
Here is the recipe I ended up using from Grandma's cookbook.(Click to enlarge.) I still didn't find a recipe for stew that I wanted to make, but after all that I figured I'd better use one of the recipes in that book today!! I'll post a comment later to let you know if it was good.copyright 1979 from the above pictured cookbook
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Sunday Magic
And in more breaking news - this coming to you mid-tourney Sunday afternoon as the Magic the Gathering Time Spiral draft is underway.
Above Jacob and Dad face off in round one.
Here's a close-up of the opening moves between Mom and Anthony.
Jacob ponders Dad's move.
We even convinced "UT" to play - to the great joy of his adoring nephews.
At this point I am down 0-2, my 15 year old and even my 10 year old having beat me! I'm beginning to wonder about training my children so well. It can be a bit hard on the ego at times. Oh well, two matches to go. Perhaps I'll yet win one! If not, it's OK; it's fun no matter what. I just can't resist a game with a fantasy element, tokens and dodecahedral dice!
Above Jacob and Dad face off in round one.
Here's a close-up of the opening moves between Mom and Anthony.
Jacob ponders Dad's move.
We even convinced "UT" to play - to the great joy of his adoring nephews.At this point I am down 0-2, my 15 year old and even my 10 year old having beat me! I'm beginning to wonder about training my children so well. It can be a bit hard on the ego at times. Oh well, two matches to go. Perhaps I'll yet win one! If not, it's OK; it's fun no matter what. I just can't resist a game with a fantasy element, tokens and dodecahedral dice!
In case you don't know about Magic, it is a role-playing card game in which each player begins with 20 life points and has a deck of cards (self-made through selecting about 40 cards from in our case 270 available today). There is a lot of strategy involved as you try to select cards that work well together. Many are creature cards (elves, goblins, dragons, etc.) that have a certain power and toughness. You can "attack" with them, and your opponent can block with creatures, play "spells" to try to prevent damage, or they can take damage. There are also cards that allow you to gain back life points. Once you are down to zero life points or below you lose. Each round is best 2 out of 3. There's a lot of strategy involved, some great artwork on the cards, and a lot of imagination if you want to engage it! It's a favorite in our family.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
In Case You're Wondering
Just in case you're wondering about that rumor about Mentos and Diet Pepsi,click here.
Just in case you're wondering what's going on in Washington D.C., click here.
Thanks to news correspondents Dan and Tony for keeping us abreast of breaking news!
Just in case you're wondering what's going on in Washington D.C., click here.
Thanks to news correspondents Dan and Tony for keeping us abreast of breaking news!
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
The Final Word
I LOVE words. I put a lot of words up here for all the world to see. I have long phone conversations with friends. I write VERY long emails, as anyone who corresponds with me can tell you! Sometimes I have important things to share; sometimes - OK, let's be honest - a LOT of the time I'm using my words to complain or just hear myself talk. I heard a song today that really resonated with me - my love for words - and my realization that I very often use too many words for things that don't deserve so many. The most important thing that was ever said was just one Word.
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.
Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.
You and me we use so very many clumsy words.From John 1:
The noise of what we often say is not worth being heard.
When the Father’s Wisdom wanted to communicate His love,
He spoke it in one final perfect Word.
He spoke the Incarnation and then so was born the Son.
His final word was Jesus, He needed no other one.
Spoke flesh and blood so He could bleed and make a way Divine.
And so was born the baby who would die to make it mine.
And so the Light became alive
And manna became Man.
Eternity stepped into time
So we could understand.
Spoke flesh and blood so He could bleed and make a way Divine.
And so was born the baby who would die to make it mine.
(Michael Card, 1988)
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.
Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.
Monday, October 01, 2007
Wherever You Go, There YOU Are
Science-Fiction Cradlesong
By and by Man will try
To get out into the sky,
Sailing far beyond the air
From Down and Here to Up and There.
Stars and sky, sky and stars
Makes us feel the prison bars.
Suppose it done. Now we ride
Closed in steel, up there, outside;
Through our port-holes see the vast
Heaven-scape go rushing past.
Shall we? All that meets the eye
Is sky and stars, stars and sky.
Points of light with black between
Hang like a painted scene
Motionless, no nearer there
Than on Earth, everywhere
Equidistant from our ship.
Heaven has given us the slip.
Hush, be still. Outer space
Is a concept, not a place.
Try no more. Where we are
Never can be sky or star.
From prison, in a prison, we fly;
There’s no way into the sky.
C.S. Lewis (1898-1963)
By and by Man will try
To get out into the sky,
Sailing far beyond the air
From Down and Here to Up and There.
Stars and sky, sky and stars
Makes us feel the prison bars.
Suppose it done. Now we ride
Closed in steel, up there, outside;
Through our port-holes see the vast
Heaven-scape go rushing past.
Shall we? All that meets the eye
Is sky and stars, stars and sky.
Points of light with black between
Hang like a painted scene
Motionless, no nearer there
Than on Earth, everywhere
Equidistant from our ship.
Heaven has given us the slip.
Hush, be still. Outer space
Is a concept, not a place.
Try no more. Where we are
Never can be sky or star.
From prison, in a prison, we fly;
There’s no way into the sky.
C.S. Lewis (1898-1963)
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